


Long Distance Relationships Are Hard

by PepperedPickles



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, very long penis of spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperedPickles/pseuds/PepperedPickles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock has a long penis. </p><p>A very, very long penis. Pretty much as long as the Earth is wide, to be honest. When he was a young child, Vulcan scientists devised a way to keep it in a space warp, meaning that its entire length is floating around in an air bubble somewhere in the Delta Quadrant.</p><p> So much for backstory. But what happens when, one day, the tip of it resurfaces in James Tiberius Kirk's quarters, no less? And how long does it take for nerve impulses to travel along a dick that long? (Answer: about 3 months.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Distance Relationships Are Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Freja did it again. "but you should write a fic where spocks dick is longer than the world" fobsessedgirl.tumblr.com  
> Kill her.  
> (she told me not to tell u to kill her so dont)

The first time it happened, Jim was at a loss as to what to do.

No amount of Starfleet academy training could ever have prepared him for the sight of a fairly angry looking green penis hovering a couple inches above his bed- at, he couldn't help but notice, the perfect height and angle for- goddamnit, James, get your mind out of the gutter! Something had to be done about it. Nobody could sleep with a random dick flying in the air above their bed. So he tried walking over to it and tentatively fanned it with his hand.

"Shoo." he said. "Go on, go away." The penis did not react. "Come on, little... uh... big fella, I've got to go to sleep."

The rather furious green shaft did nothing, but grew a little greener if that was even possible.

"Oh... okay. Wow. Touchy. Could you... at least, um, move over?" Kirk inquired as politely as he could. "Please." Still, the mysterious member did nothing.

"Fine. You... you can just stay there. In the middle of my bed. God."

After spending a few more minutes angrily staring at the stubborn cock, Jim gave up and lay down on the edge of the bed. It was by no means the first time he had slept beside a dick, but it was certainly the first that there was no body attached to it.

 

Kirk woke up the next morning to find that he had cradled himself around the dick in his sleep. "How" and "why" were two questions that came to mind, but first, he got ready for Alpha Shift, resolving to ask a Science Officer later on.

 

A few long hours later, Kirk found himself back in his quarters, staring at the disembodied dick. 

"Dude, one of us is going to have to leave and I'm the one in charge of this starship."

The member stayed resolute, not budging an inch.

"What even are you, man?" he asked, poking its head.

The dick slid down slightly, then bobbed back up and Kirk was struck with an idea. He went to the small, hidden cupboard of personal items in the wall and fetched a condom and the large bottle of lube he had brought for this five-year mission. It was still there. The dark green tinted, throbbing cock. And this time, Jim knew what he had to do.

He expertly rolled the condom onto the dick, strangely enough expecting some reaction. The penis had remained unemotional thus far, why would it break character, he reasoned. 

"Well, here goes nothing," he chuckled. He took off his trousers and kneeled on the bed, spreading his knees and slowly lowering himself onto the cock.  
It was a strange sensation, since he hadn't stretched himself out before, but Jim was an experienced bottom by now and well used to it. Once the rather hefty length was as inside of him as he could manage, he paused for a second to catch his breath. Then, he bent forwards and slid himself off the dick and back on until-yes! he nearly shouted as he found what must be his prostate. From then on, it was a quick ride to climax as he quickly and wetly slid on and off the mystery dick. He wished he had someone's shoulder's to hold onto, a pair of eyes to stare into, or at least some legs to knot around his. This was actually incredibly lonely. There had to be someone at the other end of this penis. Well, whoever they were, they were probably having the time of their life right about now. Kirk knew that he was. 

 

After that, the dick retreated into the space warp or whatever it was and Kirk never had a chance to ask anyone just what it meant or why there had ever been a random dick in his room. He cleaned up, showered and carried on with his life, never quite forgetting about the incident. However, it was far from being at the forefront of his mind when, three months later, Spock turned green in the face and suddenly excused himself from the bridge. Kirk followed after a few minutes later, deeply concerned. It wasn't at all like his first officer to leave his post without explanation and he was determined if not to get to the bottom of it then to help Spock with whatever was going on in that crazy Vulcan body of his.

He soon arrived at Spock's room and knocked on the door.  
"Spock?" he called.  
Hearing gasping, groaning sounds coming from inside, he panicked and entered anyway, fearing the worst.  
What he found was certainly a sight for sore eyes. Spock was sitting on the bed, his zipper down. His skin was even more green-tinted than usual and covered in a sweaty sheen. That perfect, glossy hair was messed up somehow and he was looking towards the ceiling, trying as hard as he could to keep himself under control. The picture would have been perfect if it weren't for one small detail: Spock had a hard-on. That much was obvious. Kirk just couldn't see... the rest of it. There was a green, strangely familiar shaft but no...

Shit.  
Shitty shit.  
Motherfucker.

Kirk reasoned thusly: say Spock had a very long dick. As long as, say, the entire world. What if part of it was in a different part of space and a Romulan ring had ended up being created around the wormhole leading to feedback... and sure, nerve signals travelled about 100 meters each second for Vulcans... shit shit shit. Jim now knew that what Spock was feeling was, in fact. his own strange disembodied penis adventure from a couple months ago... and that the lonely cock was Spock's. Fuck. 

"Well." he said out loud and returned to his quarters to think this one through. There he found the bizarre, floating shaft sitting where it had been before... nearly hopefully... but this time, he knew exactly what to do.


End file.
